There's Reality, Insanity, and This
by NV Anarchy Child
Summary: The YYH gang get invited to one of those creepy mansions only to find disaster! Will they solve the mystery? Will Kurama ever get that super-glued pink tiara off of his head?


Oh yes..."The Raven" is the work of the great Edgar Allen Poe...I could never take credit for such a great work...and Yu Yu Hakusho and it's characters are the property of Yoshihiro Togashi-sama...I also don't own Pizza Hut (but that comes in later as a result of stupidity)...I do own my original characters though...which happen to be my dysfunctional friends(Or most of them anyway, but still NO DAMN STEALING!)...Now, scroll through the first part slowly...if you don't then you ruin it, fool...I hope you like Edgar Allen Poe...now read away, enjoy, and be kind enough to leave a review or I won't update... 

The Raven

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary

Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore-

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping

As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door

" 'T is some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door-

Only this and nothing more." Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;

And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.

Eagerly I wished the morrow;-vainly I had sought to borrow

From my books surcease of sorrow-sorrow for the lost Lenore-

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore-

Nameless here for evermore.

Then the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain

Thrilled me-filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;

So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,

"I hate literature!"

a voice yelled, repeating the line that had been used so many times. A young girl stood from her desk in her dimmly lit room with her dark aburn hair falling to her shoulders, falling in her face over her jade eyes. Now, this girl was short. I mean she was SHORT.

"I prefer the term 'vertically impaired,'" this girl demanded, at the ceiling, crossing her arms and growling. Now, you may ask how vertically impaired she was. Well, she was SO...er...vertically impaired they called her Hamster Legs! "HEY!" Sitting back into her wooden desk chair she sighed, gazing at the clock that showed 2:30 as a knock came on the front door. "As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door!" she shouted, trying to straighten her nightgown, the pink silky fabric so light against her form that it-

"Excuse me? What the hell are you talking about?"

All right, I lied. It wasn't a nightgown, it wasn't pink, it wasn't even light. It was black and red flanel pants and a black shirt that said "Fear Nothing" in bold, red letters. So I lie a bit, but you can still trust me, right?

"No. Now shut your yap and let me walk to the door." She stood, walking to the door just as she said she would and opened it, revealing night and nothing else.

"I wonder who?" she pondered. Then she yelled, "You damn kids get the hell off my lawn!" She pulled out her shotgun and fired into the nearby bush. Causing the frail leaves to shudder and two young boys to stagger out, punkish with frowns plastered on their faces.

"You're no fun, Ms. Grumpy Hamster Legs,"

Her blood boiled, her face turning into a tomato! Well, maybe it didn't turn into a tomato, but it did look funny-shaped and red.

"It does NOT!" she screamed, firing into the sky. "And you!" She threw the shotgun over her shoulder and into the house. "I don't even KNOW you!"

"Whoa," one kid said. "don't get your panties in a knot."

"My WHAT!"

"That guy told us," the second boy explained.

"What guy?"

"You know," He crushed his face so it was really narrow, he pushed out his shoulders and messed up his hair. "He's got this really crushed face, and he's really tall, and he's got orange hair in this curl thing that look like a butt. He said so."

"Grrr..." The aburn-haired shorty fumed. "Skat kids!" And the two ran off, scared of the deathglare the girl was shooting them. "Kuwabara! That nasty perv!"

And the angry youth turned to storm back inside when she saw an envolope taped to her front door. Though she didn't know of the idiot who would tape an envolope to the door.

"Kuwabara!" Or maybe she did know. Whether she knew or not, she grabbed the letter and took it inside. Then she came to a question as she closed the door. "How does Kuwabara know? That hentai!"

Little did she know, he had been through her dresser!

"He HAD!"

He had.

"In MY dresser!"

Your dresser.

"When!"

Last week.

"In MY room!"

In your room.

"Damn it!" She threw a nicely placed flower vase all the way from Europe at the ceiling. "Who let him in!"

I'm not telling you until you ask me nicely.

"I'm talking to the narrator...I need to up the meds..."

"JE-CHAN!"

"AGH! ITAI!"

"Edward bouncy, bouncy, bouncy..." And lying on top of the fallen shorty, eating pasta with her chopsticks was a browny-blondie hair colored, dark blue-eyed youth who wore a pink shirt and a black and red skirt and towered some inches over the fuming aburn-haired shorty. This Oh-So-Bouncy-One was lovingly named Special Edward, or Ed for short. "Ed bounces on Jessi..."

"Then Jessi kills Edward..."

"Je-chan is so funny!" The bouncing one smiled widely.

"I'm sure I'm completely hilarious..."

"Where's Mr. Hiei-chan?"

The aburn-haired one let her face fall into the carpet, continuing the conversation this way with muffled speech. "I don't know, Edward. Why don't you go find him..."

"Ooooo...What's that!" Edward reached out and grabbed the envolope from the shorty's hand.

The shorty lifted her head and glared at the ceiling. "I don't appreciate being called short. I mean, if you want someone to call short I could always cut Kuwabara off at the waist-"

"Je-chan! Lookie here!"

Jessi planted her face firmly back into the carpet. "What is it now?"

"The guy-man-person wants us to go to the house-thing!"

Jessi lifted her head from the carpet and raised her eyebrows and grin lopsided, taking on a mock-elegant look. "Ah yes, Dear Edward," she began, sounding like their history teacher. "And I suppose he has a large pool-thing with a wet bar-thing and a plasma screen TV-thing with butler-man-person-people and maid-lady-person-people to take care of all his thing-things."

Edward looked at the letter. "Well, it looks to be true, I suppose."

"Moody moron..."

"Why thank you so very much!" She smiled widely and patted the shorty on the back. Then, she began frantically pointing to the letter. "Mr. Hiei-chan's going to be there! And so are the DEADLY YOYOS!"

Jessi sighed. "Rinku's gonna be there..."

"Je-chan! Get you ass up! To the house!" Grabbing Jessi by the back of her shirt and picking up a few nicely packed suitcases the duo charged out the front door! Cue the heroic travel music!

(Batman theme song)

Close enough.

P I Z Z A H U T

Ummm...I don't know why I just did that...But I was bored...

"Oh...this house is BIG Je-chan!" Edward yelled, suitcase-carrying arms flailing in the air with no effort at all. Jessi took a few steps away to avoid being rushed to the hospital. She could see the headline now, "Anti-social, Aburn-haired Shorty Killed! Cause of Death: A Hyperactive Rinku-wannabe with a Really Big Suitcase!" The poor short one jumped away just in time to escape-BAM! Um...oops. I guess she did get hit after all.

"OUCH! DAMN IT EDWARD!"

"Silly Je-chan! Edward is having fun!" Edward continued swinging the suitcases merrily as she skipped toward the front door of the mansion.

"Too damn merry Edward!"

Suddenly, Ed swung around, lacrosse stick appearing out of no where, and she slammed the shorty over the head!

"OW!" And the aburn-haired teen fell to the ground, cursing her luck in short breaths.

"Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!" Ed grabbed the aburn-haired shorty's hand and yanked her to the front door. "Mr. Man-Person! Open the door!" Yelled Edward. "Open!"

Jessi sighed and pushed the doorbell button.

DING DONG

Jessi raised an eyebrow at the gong-sounding bell. "Somebody likes to be weird."

"You're one to talk."

The duo turned to see none other than Yusuke, Kurama, and Kuwabara.

"Well, if it isn't the punkass, the smartass, and the dumbass." The shorty said with mock annoyance.

"Hey! I am NOT STUPID!" Kuwabara retorted, feeling very hurt by the comment. You see, aside from trying to be a man, Kuwabara has this really sensitive side that likes to play with kittens and kiss Yusuke in dreams. "I DO NOT!"

Yes you do.

"NO!"

Admit it, Kuwabara.

"NO!"

Nyah.

Kuwaabra suddenly stopped, and amazingly thought. "Wait...Who am I talking to?" And everyone sweatdropped, except for Edward who was too busy running around the house looking for bunnies.

"Peanut butter sandwiches!" Edward coaxed, holding out her empty hand.

"Atkin's friendly?" Jess asked, crossing her arms and raising and eyebrow.

Edward stopped and stared off into the night sky. "I don't know..."

Yusuke and the others stepped onto the front porch.

"So, why the hell are we here anyway? I was tryin to sleep." Yusuke groaned.

Kurama opened his mouth to speak, but Edward lunged in front of him and held out her hand. "Stop!" She yelled. "Every time you open your mouth you say something too calm and smart for the rest of us!"

"But I-" the fox tried.

"SH!"

"But-"

"SHH!"

"I was-"

"SHUSH!"

"I-"

"SHH!"

DING DONG

DING DONG

DING DONG

"Let me in the damn house!" the shorty yelled, frantically pounding the doorbell. She left the doorbell to pound on the door when it opened with a loud ...CREAK...noise. Out stepped the classic butler-snow white skin, beady little eyes, creepy suit, the works.

"My master is not here at the moment," he said in an annoyingly raspy voice. "But feel free to come in all the same."

The five followed the creedy dude into the creepy house where the shudders rattled and you thought you could fall through the floor at any moment. Yup, that's just how old it was.

"Someone needs some renovations..." Yusuke commented.

"Use your Spirit Gun and we'll remodel wall-to-wall," Jess added.

"Renovations!" Edward yelled in delight. She dropped her suitcases and popped them open, yanking out nothing less than...PINK DECORATIONS! She ran spaztically around the mansion, decorating every railing with pink tinsel and pink ribbons and pink lights and pink faerie ornaments. She then pulled for none other than...The Amazing Pink Tiara of Vonder! Now, Edward pondered long and hard about who to give the Amazing Pink Tiara of Vonder to. This person had to be extra special to have this amazing gift...

Ok, she didn't think long...it took her about five seconds and a bottle of super glue. She splattered the tiara with all of the super glue, being really careful not to get any icky glue on the pretty pink jewels. She readied her self...and lunged for Kurama, gluing the pink tiara on his head! Kuwabara and Yusuke burst into laughter as did Jessi.

"Oh look, Kurama's a fairy princess. Don't you feel beautiful Kurama?" Jess mocked.

"Get it off!" Kurama yelled, completely losing it.

"We'll have to cut you hair..." The evily smirking auburn-haired shorty pulled sciccors from her back pocket. She snipped menicingly at the air, her evil look growing positively...well, more evil. She lunged, and the kitsune dodged the attempt to remove his pride and joy...Not THAT pride and joy...perverts...

The shorty growled in frustration and dropped the sciccors which had plunged completely into the floor. "Screw this!" She yelled, whipping her glaive out of no where. "I shall show you, Fairy Boy!" She lunged again, having Kurama backed into a corner, and was sure not to miss!

P I Z Z A H U T

I'm dropping you people here on this very cliffhanger. And if you go to my school, you'd better know that you are fair game to be parodied and made fun of. Let's see...later appearances will most likely be made by Jujubeez, Leech Boy, Mike(have I got a scene planned for that...evil laughter), Maggie(So I can re-enact the entire scene from drama with the winking plank of wood), Kenny, and whoever else I can think of. Appearances by other anime characters will not be limited to YYH. I'm going to include as many others as possible. Anywayz, this is Je-chan, The Anarchy Child, signing off! (I have a waterville project to do. Damn math class!)

Je-chan (The SUPREME RULER OF THE WORLD! MWAHAHAHAHAHA:gets hit in the head with math textbook: Must go do homework...DURG!)

P.S. If you haven't noticed, my section breaks are now P I Z Z A H U T because I can't get ANYTHING to use for section breaks anymore here on it's now P I Z Z A H U T. Also, please excuse any line break or format errors I might have made. I read through this a few time to check, but I might have missed something. Kay? Bye!


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